Heart Boomers

The generation I was born into (1946-1964 Baby Boomers) are everywhere. I was born in 1955, so I’m at the heart of the boomer parade.

I wonder how many people of my generation embrace the internet? I wonder how many use social media? I kinda feel like the old lady playing with kids when I’m doing this stuff. I avoid talking about my age. Especially on Twitter. I do not know one person in real life (except myself) who tweets. I am hoping to find some heart boomers to talk to about all the puzzling and intricate details of life after wrinkles. I think we blame ourselves too much for things that really are beyond our control or a lot more complex than what we read and see and hear from newspapers, magazines, television reports and even our doctors.

Many people in the US, including myself, are overweight. It’s frustrating to try to lose weight when you are also on a medication regime that includes 3 pills that have “weight gain” as a side effect. So I figured since the migraine headaches I use meds for have lessened of late, maybe I could cut down on the med and eventually wean myself slowly off of it, and something magical would happen, something like what happened to one friend who said when she stopped taking Prozac “the weight just fell off.”

(I wasn’t taking Prozac, but a low dose of Elavil, which can have weight gain as a side effect, and is not a recommended prescription for migraine, but is an older form of anti-depressant that has been found to help with migraine. So it’s an “off prescription” remedy for migraine.)

I cut my Elavil in half for a week and I didn’t lose any weight but I got a migraine. Luckily, I think the 1 Maxalt and 2 Advil prescribed for onset of a migraine nipped it in the bud. I also took a Xanax because migraine shoots my anxiety through the roof. Xanax also causes weight gain and I take those daily for anxiety and so I can sleep at night.

Am I going to just say fuck it, eat what I want and hell with trying to lose weight? Nope. I’m going to eat healthy and continue to try to keep portions small. I’m a vegetarian and usually avoid crap carbs. So you’d think that would be enough, but no. I admit I like a glass of wine or two and dark chocolate. I eat & drink those treats in moderation and fit them into my calorie plan. They’re said to have health benefits.

In general, women are supposed to eat no more than 2,000 calories a day to  maintain a healthy weight. Ha! I eat 1,300 and can’t lose weight, even though my weight tracker app says I should lose one pound per week with this calorie load. So I’m cutting back to 1,100 (again) which my app (Lose It!–it’s free and easy for iPhone:) says will help me lose 1.5 pounds a week. I have had some success with 1, 100 calories. Not 1.5 pounds per week success, but most weeks, I’ll lose a pound. Well, I did for a while until I got stuck.

I tried a few things to get unstuck. Carbs no more than once a day. One glass of wine twice a week. No chocolate. Not even my 72% cocoa squares. Cutting Elavil. Stubborn number on the scale stayed the same. Am I upset with my experiment’s failure? Oh yeah. I get so hopeful (still) about new measures and weight loss methods. When they fail, I feel like I’ve failed.

I used to think, when I was younger, that there would be a cut off time when weight would not matter. Sadly, this is not true. I want a healthy weight so that I don’t get the cascade of other maladies that come with being overweight. (Diabetes, bad knees, heart problems, back problems, etc, etc). Also, I am vain. I didn’t think I would be. I thought there was a cut off date for vanity too. I’m here to tell you, I’m 55, and I still don’t want to be overweight. I don’t mind my silver hair. I kind of like it. Wrinkles are fine too.

What I don’t like are migraine headaches and weight gain. I don’t like taking lots of pills either. I think the way to living successfully as a core boomer is to realize that things I don’t like will continue to happen with my body, despite the care I take with it. It’s been a good body and basically still is, even though I put it through some rough stuff back when I didn’t think about my body as something that could fail me. It took all the abuse I gave it and never cried. That was then. This is now. And somehow, I have to learn to be okay with it.