It’s not like I wasn’t ready for it. Full moon eclipses mean that things come to an end. But when you don’t know what’s going to end, how can you be ready for it? Plus this latest eclipse was the rare Transit of Venus. Won’t see another of those in my lifetime. Won’t bother me a bit.
Like so many others, I got hit hard by this recent eclipse. My work life went way off kilter and I finally realized after many years that I am not a romance writer. Now that the stardust has settled, I realize I can live with those changes. I’m a stubborn Aries, and all the writing advice books say “be persistent” so that potent cocktail kept me hammering away at the romance game until I finally got the unmistakable message that it is just not my path.
Which is funny, because I have a romance novel coming out next month. It’s only a romance because I had a very talented editor that chipped away at my story until all that was left was the love. It was hard for me to see big chunks of my plot go away–but I did what I thought I had to do. And it worked out okay. I’ve got a subplot begging to be a free story as a promo for the novel. But my days of trying to write like a romance writer are done. I’m fine with that.
Now I can add the voice that has been begging to be let into my current novel. Now I can come out and call myself a fiction writer with no genre restrictions. (I still have those paranormals in my closet…) The thing with eclipses and endings is that what comes after the ending is something new and better. So…
I’m still wondering what the message is for me and teaching. Actually, I know what it is. I am done. I have said this so many times and yet I always go back because it’s my job. It’s what I know how to do. And I have always enjoyed teaching creative writing. Using my book, being with other writers, what’s not to like? Well, personality clashes, conflicts over content, and dueling values to name a few of the things I am not liking right now. I’m going to respect my students and not tell the story, but I also thank them and the eclipse. The double whammy was like a slap upside the head saying “LISTEN, THIS IS NOT YOUR CALLING.”
Universe? I hear you. And whatever is next? Bring it on!
Cindy, I am cheering you on! I didn’t know about the eclipse this weekend but that so fits ~ my youngest graduating from graduate school, ready to start his own life and not needing my help one bit:)
It’s hard, letting go of how I saw myself all those years and growing into how I see myself now. Teaching….yes, I hear you loud and clear. It keeps pulling me back in, too, although you are a “grown up” teacher in addition to being a writer in our own right. Congrats on the book coming out next month! That path is clearing before your very eyes.
Bring it on, indeed. You are well on your way to what comes next.
Sharon, thank you. Only another teacher can understand that push/pull. And congrats to your daughter.