Secret Resolution Weapon

I can feel people around the planet with their notebooks and pens, writing resolutions. I wrote some too this morning. Shorthand, they include diet, exercise, staying present, writing & publishing. Every year I make a similar list. I read blogs & books on how to accomplish my goals. I take notes. I do the footwork. Sometimes.

This year I discovered a secret resolution weapon: Feelings Lie. This was a ways down on Kristen Lamb’s list. Instead of the usual resolutions, she found ways to make resolve stick. The one that really hit home for me was that feelings lie. I sorta kinda knew this. I’ve been practicing taking the story out of my emotional situations and just see how my body is feeling. For example,  the usual feelings of self-recrimination and horror after my worst eating binge ever made me sick to my stomach. (I lost 17 pounds last year and gained back 9 of them.)

My emotional reaction was acute self-hate. How could I be so weak again? Did I really finish the entire box/bag/bottle? Why can’t I conquer self-defeating habits? How come I suck so much? I felt sick to my stomach. And then I thought. Okay, without the self-loathing, how does my tummy feel? I took the story out and just let my mind settle on how my body felt. It was okay. A tiny bit uncomfortable, but nothing as bad as when I had the feelings mixed in there. So I know what Kristen says is true. Feelings lie!

I have been following my feelings around for many years. I often act on instinct. This usually works well for me, but it gets bad when applied to eating. If I take the time to listen to my feelings, they say “Go ahead and have the chocolate/chips/chardonnay. You deseerve it. You can start fresh tomorrow.”

So from now on, when it comes to diet, I’m telling my feeling to shut the hell up, because they lie like a bag of reduced fat ruffles.

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