Flipping the Switch

So yesterday I ate Cheetos and a chocolate bar for lunch. Had to shop after class, and my energy was super low. After figuring out a healthy dinner, I had no reserves left to come up with a good lunch plan. Thus, the C&C.

Part of me feels like I’m getting all my cravings out of the way in prep for July 5, the official start date of the dieting romance writers. Another part just feels tired. And like she needs the comfort of junk food.

Thank stars there is yet another part of me that wants to find balance in writing and in life. This morning, I tried to work out why I was so out of balance yesterrday; I wanted a deeper reason than being mentally and physically worn out. When I do something that puzzles me, I go into meditation and confer with my higher self.

I got my answer. I do not want to face the nagging bitch that is my craving. So I gave in. I will do (and have done) a lot of things to avoid feelings of craving. There was a brief time in my life when I had no job, no money, no home. Very often during this period, I was hungry. Really hungry. Hungry like I haven’t felt since then. There were days when I had nothing to eat at all.

I think that could be why I so intensely avoid cravings associated with food. I want to take care of myself, pamper myself even, with food. Of course, junk food is fake pampering. I could easily have gone to the produce department, bought spinach, apples, ginger, celery. I could then have gone into my herb garden and cut some parsley. Blend with apple juice and you’ve got the best lunch ever: the Dr. Oz “green drink.”

I didn’t do that yesterday but today I will. I also keep seeing those salad pockets in the stores and will buy some of those. I love the idea of making a big salad and filling a pita. I’m usually good with breakfast and dinner, it’s just lunch that ruins my (mostly) healthy diet.

Finally weighed myself today (about as bad as I thought) and put the Losing It app on my phone. According to the app, I get 1300 calories a day to lose 1.5 lbs a week. I like the idea of typing my eating choices into the app instead of keeping a paper diary. We’ll see how it goes.