First the good news, got my 2000 words for today, so up a bit past 16000. Week one down!
OTOH I just wrote the worst sex scene of my entire life. It was awkward and stupid. Or maybe not. I’m not sure because I am not going to read it until December. But I know that at least at first, it felt so wrong. About 200 words in I had the clear thought “Why am I doing this? Why did I think I wanted to be writer? I should just stop now. It’s not working.”
And then I didn’t stop. Because those kind of thoughts are normal. At least for me. I try to ignore them. And eventually things got better. I wrote a scene from my hero’s point of view and it was all backstory but I loved it. It might need to be cut, it might be info dump, but I loved writing that backstory and finding out something about him I didn’t know. It made him more real to me. It made him warmer. Somebody worthy of my heroine.
So my inner critic is having a fine time,what with the awkward sex and the info dump, but that’s okay because I am too. And I’m thinking that if I hate them so much, I can cut the sex scenes when I revise. Shirley Jump’s perfectly adorable A Princess for Christmas didn’t have any sex scenes. And it was wonderful.