I Can’t Stop

This past week has been full of good and bad, I think if you’ve been following along, you’re pretty much filled in. Today everything caught up with me and I had a physical meltdown in the form of a nasty migraine. Took meds which eased head but made me sleep most of the day so got no school work done. When I’m feeling really down, my back up plan for pain relief is food. Today I just ate and ate and ate some more. Now it’s dinner time, I’m not at all hungry, and the migraine is knocking again.

I could go to my other “make it stop” activity, drinking a glass or two of wine, but no. Instead I made dinner for Al and checked Twitter, where I read a very nice review of Blue Heaven. This cheered me up. I looked at my bank balance, which cheered me up even more. I made just under $3 for my writing last quarter. Yep, you got that right. $3. That’s from my publisher. Amazon sends money to the bank when I sell $10 worth, and I didn’t have one of those.

Yes, this writing business is making me rich:) But I can’t stop. I don’t even want to. I love to write and now there are a few people in the world who love to read what I write. That makes me happy, damn the stupid migraine!

Do Drugs Affect Writing?

After a visit to my dealer, I mean doctor, yesterday, I caught a glint of something positive removing the migraine curse I’ve been under for six weeks now. Doc & I have been together ten years and he knows my triggers. Weather, wind, rain, low pressure systems. Also dentist visits. And stress.

Yesterday as I told my tale of woe, he said “let’s wait a week and see if this new weather system will clear things up.” That reminded me of the many friends I have who suffer from seasonal allergies. I don’t. But if I look at migraine like that, it helps.

The problem with writing for me has been the medication. If a migraine gets bad, I can pop up to 7 extra pills a day. I’ve only had to do that twice, but even then, just the migraine stopper alone makes me a little less inclined to write. I can drive a car with one pill. I can teach class with one pill. And I can write with one pill. I just don’t want to.

I’ve heard many writers say they didn’t have the desire to write while taking certain meds. These writers say that while on the drugs, writing doesn’t matter to them anymore. Some of them go off a prescribed drug because they figure out writing matters more than whatever they’d hope to cure with a pill.

I’m working on a book I love, my publisher recently began accepting women’s fiction and my editor gave me the go-ahead to write it. And yet it has been difficult for me to find words these past several weeks. When I don’t write, it’s usually because things get too busy. But that’s not it this time.

I realized today…maybe it’s the medication. My mood has certainly been no ambition, no energy, no sizzle. This morning, I picked up my notebook thinking that at least I could write some morning pages. Even that was a struggle.

I am not saying anyone should stop taking medication. I will continue to pop pills as long as I need them. I am just hoping the weather clears and the migraine disappears. And hey, I wrote a blog post today:)